Matt Blog

Still Not Figured It Out

2010-01-16T01:52:00.002Z

Its weird you know?

You can survive all sorts of major and minor upsets, knockbacks, fuck-ups and general shit in your life.

But every now and then something, that at first appears completely innocuous and insignificant, really hits home.

Strange, definitely somewhat annoying, but unfortunately, inevitably, and irrefutably true.

Life’s a bastard eh?

Lates.

Matt.

Christmas CD

2010-01-13T00:26:00.002Z

So. This is my Christmas CD for this year:

Here is the whys:

1. Beautiful Days - Venus
This song is on the soundtrack for a beautifully shot but rather strange film called Immortal. It was one of those songs that fit so well into the film, it reminded me of the cover of Coldplay's Scientist in Wicker Park. Beautiful Days is an awesome song, and I love the fact that as it is song by a group who do not speak English as their first language they have rhymed some very strange words. 'Days' and 'place' rhyme lovely as do 'made' and 'fake' Brilliant!
This song sounds great played really, really loud.

2. All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
I have always liked this, as silly as some of the lyrics are, but it was after seeing Southland Falls, where Justin Timberlake enjoys a drug induced episode with this song that I really loved it. Check it out: You Tube
Best bit of the whole film.

3. You Can't Count On Me - Counting Crows.
I realised, after burning the CD that this song is on last years CD too. I'm pretty sure that that says more about me than it does about the song, but its still pretty good.

4. Wisdom Teeth - Frank Turner.
I love Frank Turner. So many of his songs seemed to be about my life. But I'd have to say that this song pretty much sums me up to perfection. Sad, but true.

5. When You Find Me - Joshua Radin
Joshua Radin is amazing. A couple of my best ever memories are accompanied by his songs. This is a relatively new one that I found and it is excellent.

6. I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie.
An incredibly depressing song on one hand, and an amazing declaration on the other. You decide which is more apt.

7. Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova.
I first heard this song at New Ash Green Open Mike and instantly loved it. It wasn't till I got home I realised it was sung by the lead singer of The Frames(not at open mike you understand, but originally), a band I've loved for over ten years. It is on the sound track to a bloody brilliant film called 'Once' that I could not more strongly recommend.

8. Let It Be Me - Ray LaMontagne.
A sentiment that I'm sure we have all felt at one time in our lives. Great tune.

9. I Am John - Lonely, Dear.
This was an i-Tunes single of the week that I downloaded and never got round to listening to for ages. When I finally did listen to it, I found it incredibly catchy and even though half the time you can't understand what they guy is saying I still thought it was great. So listen to it and enjoy, even if you have no idea what its about.

10. District Sleeps Alone Tonight - Frank Turner.
Another Frank Turner tune, although this is a cover of a Postal Service song. It reminds me of a time in October 2008 in fact, but fuck it, I thought it deserved to be on my CD as I've listened to it a shit load this year, so there you go.

11. Reason Why - Rachael Yamagata.
This is a great song. And I have fond memories of singing it with a brilliant friend at the end of a very alcohol fuelled night. It will always remind me of that night and them.

12. Anyone Else But You - Michael Cera & Ellen Page.
This is from a great film called Juno. It is sung by the two main characters. I love the raw, slightly shit quality of it as it goes so well with the honesty of the words. You can't take life to the studio and clean it up to make it better.

13. Samson - Regina Spektor.
Heard her at Glastonbury. Brilliant. I love this track for the first line alone - 'You are my sweetest downfall.' Cracking line full of so much emotion and it transports me somewhere I'll keep to myself thank you.

14. The Universal - Blur.
Saw them for the second time at Glastonbury this year and they were Fucking amazing. So much energy and emotion for a band that rode the Brit Pop revolution to the top when I was trying to become a grown up 13 years ago. This song was one of many I could have chosen. Can't really say why this one, but I do love it.

15. The Road - Frank Turner.
Shit, I didn't realise I'd put three Frank Turner songs on here till just now! This is a cracking song, and the fact that it says 'To the south' (which anyone who knows me, knows is a favourite phrase of mine) makes it even better.

16. I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor - Arctic Monkeys.
Well, I bet you do, don't you?

17. Dance, Dance - Fall Out Boy.
I remember two of my friends dancing to this in my living room. A memory that makes me smile.

18. Killing In The Name Of - Rage Against The Machine.
I have always loved this song. It is part of my youth. I remember dancing to it 16 years ago in a French campsite bar in my combat boots, pissing off a lot of French kids in flip flops. I remember that when this came on in the Indie Club in Gillingham, we all knew that there was gonna be one hell of a mosh pit / fight. I love the fact that it was chosen to go up against X-Factor by some random guy, and I love that it won. It made my Christmas.

So there is my Christmas CD line up. I hope you like it, or to be honest I don't really mind if you do or not. I like it and as far as I'm concerned that's all that really matters!

I am currently compiling an Album Of The Decade(In CAPITALS no less!) I have asked a number of people to give me their song of the decade and I will put them all together in one album. So far I have five, which to be fair is a bit shit. So if you have a song of the decade, send it to me and I'll wack it on there.

Take it easy and I'll see you around, or asquare, depending on your feelings on the matter.

Lates.

Or Earlies.

Depending where you are I guess.

Matt

So there you go.

2010-01-09T02:32:00.004Z

I really don't know what to say.

So tomorrow I will give you the playlist for my Christmas CD.

It contains 18 tunes that I have enjoyed during the last 12 months.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that these songs are the best tunes of 2009, just that I like them, so fuck you, I've put them on a CD for people to hear or not.

If I'm being honest, I don't really give a shit either way.

Lates.

Matt.

How Your Life Is Lived

2010-01-09T01:31:00.002Z

So. This is my first post since the new year.

Its been snowing like crazy and I've been working full time this week, which is cool, cos I've been paid a fair wack.

Ignoring this, today I bought a sausage roll, and this reminded me of a guy I used to teach 7 years ago. Every time we went to the bakers he would always demand a sausage roll.

He was one of my favourite people ever. He had issues like we all do. He caused a lot of people some issues but fuck that, I could always chill him out and I could always get him to do what he needed to do.

Anyway a couple of years after I taught him he went to a residential school which was cool. Unfortunately he died there about two years ago. Apparently they didn’t actually give a shit about him, so there you go.

So this post is for him. He was a lovely bloke and I loved having him in my class.

Whatever you are doing now Simon, I hope you are loving it.

Lates.

Love.

Matt.

Fun And Games

2009-12-28T01:53:00.002Z

Sometimes people….

No that's not right, ….At all times people….,

And I’m not being funny but I know its not their fault, but this is how it is.

Mine is mine and I know, as its truly mine, to be fair, I will treat it like I want to.

But I can't accept others treating it the same.

And I’m sort of sorry because no matter what I think, and no matter how I treat it, others should treat it like its brand new, like it’s a china shop minus the bull, and like they have just wandered into Shangri-La. That’s just how I feel, so therefore that's like it is.

Indeed.

La La La La

2009-12-28T00:32:00.003Z

I am talking a load of shit tonight, because, to be fair, who else will if not I?

There is a lot that needs to be said, and I can't say it all myself, but I can at least start it off, I hope.

Everyone who is self aware, must, by now, realise that this world is going to shit.

And it doesn't matter what your religious (or Otherwise) beliefs are, people must realise that something must be done.

So come on. I'm not being funny, but seriously get your arse in gear.

x

So This Is Christmas. And what have you done?

2009-12-28T00:16:00.003Z

This is the first two lines from a cracking Christmas song by John Lennon a little while before he got shot by a nutter.

And to be fair, who really gives a shit these days?

Everyone is so emotionally non-committal that to be honest, if it happened now, I fear that everyone would pretty much just pretend they hadn't noticed.

And I can already hear you all pretesting that you, personally, would be really shocked, but I'm sorry, I just don't really believe you.

Anyway, the point here is to state that we are all so desensitised to what happens in the world, and that my fear is that eventually we really wont give a shit about anything at all.

I really don't wont to be proved right. But I'm not sure I wont be.

Today.

2009-12-28T00:03:00.003Z

I am sitting at my composter, and I'm looking at everyone in my house.

And they are great. Because whether I really know them, or actually care about them at all, it doesn't matter, cos these people are the people who end up at my house every time I have people back. And I've gotta see them as the people who are my people.

And that, at one instant fills me with dread, but at the same instant fills me with hope.

So Fuck everything, and everyone.

I am here and I KNOW that is true.

Lates.

x

This is what you think it will be.

2009-12-27T23:57:00.002Z

So there you go.

Chrsitmas came and it went.

And that's how I like it, to be fair.

In a bit I will give you the first half of my Christmas Compact Disk

Its pretty cool if I do say so myself.

Its full of songs that have shaped my year.

But I have to say, there is one song that isn't on it that I've listen to alot.

That song is something I'll talk about sometime soon.

Love who I love.

Lates.

xx

Four your Sake OR Killing In The Name Of!

2009-12-21T00:14:00.004Z

You know, I've got to a point in my life where it takes me more than 24 hours to recover from an alcohol fuelled evening.

If I get totally plastered one night, I'm still hammered the next day. I can not function with any real sense of normality.

This is a serious problem really. I now, not only can't remember what happened the night before, I also can't actually operate the next day.

Shit.

Anyway. As we draw nearer to Christmas and the end of the year I tend to get more both intro and retro spective. I tend to evaluate the past year, and to be fair, I'm never very impressed with what I see.

I always see a wasted year. Options that I should have taken and decisions I should have made.

It always puts me in a negative frame of mind. So that everything I think about during this time tends to have a negative slant on it.

This is a real pain in the arse, cos seriously, who needs that kind of extra negativity in their life.

But that is how it is.

Frenk it.

Anyway. Spurs won on Saturday, Forest and Newcastle won today, so its all good.

Also I hate the Arse-nil.

Live for today. Learn from mistakes you have made in the past, and use this knowledge to live your life like you should.

Four what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has nought
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

That's there and that is how it goes.

So there you go.

Lates.

Matt.

P.S: Killing In The Name Of is Christmas Number One!

That is fucking AWESOME!

Ha Ha.

Free, Three, And there it is.

2009-12-20T04:21:00.004Z

Well there you go.

And now today I'm here and I'm finished.

So there you go.

Three.

Lates.

Matt.

Two? To? Too? True?

2009-12-19T00:32:00.009Z

Well. T'was a snow day today. Not quite as good as previous years in the fact that I did not get paid for this one but hey nevermind eh?

Went sledging although unfortunately we couldn't find the Nova bonnet from last year, but to be fair it was still cool.

There is something about a hill covered in snow that transports me back to my childhood.

And it was a weird feeling. For two hours today I completely forget about all the self inflicted worries and problems that comprise my life just now.

I was free to do nothing but have pure unadulterated fun and I revelled in it.

Unfortunately as soon as I got home reality bit again.

TRUST.

Its never been something I've ever really worried about.

I trust so few people that I've rarely been let down. I've known many people who have found it hard to trust anyone because they have been betrayed by people they thought they could trust, and to be fair I've been that betrayer more than once.

But trust is so important in life. If you feel like you can't trust anyone then you have my compassion, because not being able to trust anyone must be nightmare.

I have a small group of people that I trust with my life, and I rely on them more than they could probably ever know. Without them I would just completely self distruct.

I say all this because I maybe take trust for granted. And I really shouldn't.

I listened to this earlier, and maybe its apt and maybe its not. Either way I like it:

This is how it works

You're young until you're not

You love until you don't

You try until you can't

You laugh until you cry

You cry until you laugh

And everyone must breathe

Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works

You peer inside yourself

You take the things you like

And try to love the things you took

And then you take that love you made

And stick it into some

Someone else's heart

Pumping someone else's blood

And walking arm in arm

You hope it don't get harmed

But even if it does

You'll just do it all again

On The Radio - Regina Spektor

This is the second of my 12 Blogs of Christmas.

And this is me leaving to grab another beer, because I feel like getting drunk tonight.

Catch you on the other side.

Matt.

Its About Time

2009-12-18T01:47:00.003Z

I figured I should start blogging again.

So this is the first of my 12 blogs of Christmas.

Obviously I don't want to go crazy on the first one.

If I totally nailed it the first day, what would I follow it with?

So this is a pretty low key post, just to ease you back into Matt's Blogasticalationismness.

I've spawned a new word that will be used for countless generations. What more do you want for a beginning?

Now I'm thinking I've gone too far. But Fuck it, I have always been accused of pushing the boundaries of collective consciousness to a new level and I can't stop now can I?

Or possibly I'm full of shit. I'm never sure which is the case.

Time will tell I guess.

I will see you shortly.

Or… Shortly, I will see you.

Or… Will I see you shortly?

Or… Shortly, you, I will see.

Or… Jäger Bombs? At the club? On a School night?

Lates.

Matt.

The Thing About Life

2009-07-10T00:57:00.002+01:00

You know, the thing about life is, that it always surprises you.

Which is cool.

Things, Stuff, And The Rest

2009-06-05T00:02:00.007+01:00

Well hey

Its now June. Not entirely sure where the last year went, but go it did. Its been a strange 12 months for me. Full of different emotions and events. I have found myself at a bit of a loss what to do for large periods, which I know from past experience living my life, is not a good thing for me.

I have done some things I regret, as I always do, I have done some things that I never thought I would and I have had some fun. And now looking back over this period of time I am trying to work it all out.

Conclusions? Not really. But I can say that I always used be proud of the fact, that I always acted in a logical way. Everything I did, I did for a clearly defined, logical reason. The problem I am faced with now though, is the fact that over the last year, most of what I have done, has left logic far behind. I have acted impulsively, with little thought for anyone or anything else. It is a strange feeling to have, one I haven't felt since I was 18.

Its time, I know, to reel it back in, but I have to be honest and say that it has been a strangely liberating time. As I have always said 'thinking too much fucks you up.' But what I have learnt over the last year is that 'not thinking enough also puts you in a similar situation.' (not quite as catchy I know)

I have made my bed and so I will lie in it. I am back to logical thinking but I know that although I am not perfect, neither is anyone else. And I can live with that. Time to draw a line in the sand and let the past be the past and look towards the future.

All in all, maybe I'm actually better off.

Time, as always, will tell, I guess.

Lates.

On My Way

2009-05-28T20:26:00.005+01:00

Its been over six months since my last post.

That's quite a long time.

I've been stuck in a position where I've been wanting to write something, but haven't been sure where to start and more importantly, where to end up.

Its been a pain, and I've got to the point now where I'm thinking, fuck it, I'll just start typing and keep going till I have finished.

I guess I should write about what's been on my mind for the last few months, but I'm not quite there yet. So for now, this pointless rant will have to do and will hopefully go some way to helping ease the feeling of blog inactivity that has been troubling me for a while.

Time will tell I guess

Sometimes

2008-11-11T01:16:00.003Z

Sometimes life works out how you expected it to. Sometimes it doesn't.

Neither of these is better all the time, cause sometimes you expect the worst and something excellent happens. And of course sometimes you expect everything will be cool and it ends in shit.

Within me there has always been a battle between the optimistic and pessimistic sides of my (for lack of a better word) soul. Sometimes, such as during my time as a student, the optimistic side was on top, at others, such as (unsurprisingly), immediately after I left university, my pessimistic side has been in ascendency.

But I don't tend to swing so noticeably from one to the other, I usually have 'O' days and 'P' days every now and again and spend the rest of the time in a state I've just decided as pessimistically optimistic.

Now, for various reason, some completely out of my control, others very much a result of my actions, I find myself pretty firmly in the realm of the pessimist.

Its not always a bad place to be. You often find yourself shielded from disappointments, because you are already expecting them when they arrive. But its not a great way to live your life.

It has to be said that this is an amazing world. It is as much full of wonders, excitements and beauty as it is full of despair, pain and the rest, perhaps more so. But living as a pessimist often means you don't see these things, or you ignore them when they come your way, choosing instead to look at the negatives rather than the positives.

I have a light at the end of my tunnel. I can see my life after pessimism. I'll get through it and move on, of that I have no doubt. So maybe the pessimistic side hasn't completely taken control!

And I wish the same for everyone else who is feeling they are on the 'P' side.

Strangely this post started off going in a completely different direction. Funny how your sub-conscious takes over every now and again when you aren’t paying attention!

Lates.

Regrets?

2008-10-28T16:13:00.002Z

There are those who say that life is too short for regrets. I think that's bollocks. I mean, I don't think you should get obsessed by your regrets and let them take over your life, but I do think regrets are important for everyone.

They should guide your life. Be they small regrets like 'I should not have stayed up so late on a School night' or massive regrets that make you sick in your stomach when you think about them.

I'm a firm believer in learning from my mistakes and I have made some fucking huge ones. I wont dismiss them as par for the course, I will worry about them, and I will dissect them to ensure I don't repeat them.

By far the worst thing about mistakes is the effect they have on others. It’s the lack of thought towards other people that really sickens me about my mistakes. But wallowing in self-pity is not the answer. You make a mistake; you have to deal with it. Regret it, rebuild bridges, re-earn trust and learn from it.

And apologise as much as you can.

I'm sorry.

What, Where, Who, How And Why

2008-10-04T00:43:00.002+01:00

Well its now October. Not sure where the last couple of months have gone.

Seems to me that the winter seems to creep up on us these days. After the summer has completely failed to show its face that is.

Its starting to get colder, the sun is going down earlier and earlier and the clocks haven't even gone back yet.

Its three weeks till half term, and I am really looking forward to getting away from here for a week.

Life is a confusing animal. I have always been a person who is very good at adapting to my circumstances. Who will just get on within the situation I find myself. But I've got to a point where I've had enough of it. I no longer want to just survive half happily in an environment I feel I don't belong.

But the main problem I am faced with, is that I doubt my ability to do anything about this. I worry that I may just keep my head down, doing nothing, living the easy life.

Cos that's the thing, its so much easier to just go with the flow, just accept life as it is and do nothing about it, for doing something about, it takes effort and I'm not sure I will be arsed to produce it. A fantastic friend of mine has escaped. She had a goal, a light at the end of her tunnel, and she was determined to reach it.

But I'm not convinced that I have that determination. And that concerns me. I guess time will tell eh?

I’ll let you know.

Lates.

Matt

Jumping Or Falling?

2008-08-05T23:12:00.002+01:00

That's the question I'm debating.

Having left teaching after four and a something years for a seven month break from the education sector before I return to it in September, I have been thinking about the choices we make in life and the reasons behind them.

Some people are lucky enough to know exactly want they want to do with their lives early on. Whether that is a purely money based career path, a satisfaction and excitement based lifestyle, or even just a loafing around enjoying themselves as much as they can route, these people have goals, and dreams, they can look to the future and state 'that is where I want to be in ten years.' I envy these people to some extent. They are definitely on the jumping side of this debate. They make conscious decisions with their end plan as a basis.

I'm much more of the falling kind. I had no idea want I wanted to do with my life, and am still not 100% convinced. I fell in to teaching due to a lack of anything else to do. Now don't get me wrong, I love a lot about teaching and my time at my previous School contained some of the best times of my life. I am also really looking forward to the challenge that September will bring. But I have these niggling doubts every now and then, a little voice in my head that asks 'Do you really want to be doing this for the rest of your working life?'

Now. I quite understand that I'm being a little over dramatic here. Because who hasn't at one point in their lives asked that same question? My concern is that if the answer becomes NO! then I may well be completely screwed.

Anyway. Enough of that. I was thinking the same question can apply to the relationships we have, although the lines are not so distinct. There are couples who, together, jump wholeheartedly into relationships with clear joint goals in mind. They build their lives around each other and these targets. I know a few couples like this and they are fantastic. That is not to say however that relationships like these always work. Sadly they often don't. People and situations are forever evolving and what may have originally been one goal will often split into two that can pull couples apart.

Then are times when people will fall into relationships, for such reasons as loneliness, boredom, dissatisfaction or just the need to be loved. It might be the quick fix for something that's not working, or may be a way to escape a difficult situation. These can often be intense, heated and passionate. A flash grenade to the 'jumpers' maglite, they will often explode. But having said that, conversely, they can develop into something exceptional and long lasting (controlled forest fire? maybe not!).

Finally (in my simplistic rule book anyway), there is the mix of the two. On one side someone ready to jump into a solid relationship and on the other a 'faller', someone who not really looking for anything but finding themselves drawn in by the feeling or hope that this may help them escape wherever they currently find themselves. Now I'm sure that relationships like this must work out at times. But I would say that for the most part they are doomed to fail. Not to say that they cannot be passionate, exciting and comforting for both sides, but there is surely an immediate conflict of interests, two forces pulling in different directions. And when they tear themselves apart they is the possibility of great damage for both sides.

I have experienced all of these types of relationship, and I have to say that I only regret being the faller to a jumper. If that makes any sense then good work you!

This post has pretty much run away with itself. Apologies if you have read it all, because I suspect you are now thinking you've just wasted precious minutes reading a bunch of tosh.

Nevermind eh?

There's always tomorrow.

Maybe tomorrow...

Time And How We Spend It

2008-07-07T21:19:00.002+01:00

Its been five and bit months since I last posted on here. I'm worse than even The Floop seems to be at the moment.

Been thinking about what has happend since 23rd January. Depending on how you look at it, either not much or crap loads.

It supposed to be summer now, and although as I am writing this I have my back door open, it has been pishing it down for the last few hours. I'm getting quite sick of the crap weather in this country. Think I need to get away somewhere hot for a while.

I've been back in New Ash Green now for nearly eight years, and decided to put a cap on it at ten. By then I'm gonna be gone. Decision made and now its out there so it just gonna have to happen.

A Quicky

2008-01-23T00:30:00.000Z

Just to let anyone who doesn't / didn't know that Tottenham Hotspurs beat the gooner scum (that's Arsenil to anyone who is confused / a girl) 5-1 tonight.

And also to let you know that I am very happy.

Lates.

Matt The Hat.

Fork, Crossroads or Precipice

2008-01-15T00:25:00.000Z

There are times in your life that involve choices. Some of them that involve very simple decisions such as, 'Shall I go to the pub and have a beer' or 'What shall I wear today', but there are also others that are far more complex such as, 'Is it all worth it?' and 'Shall I keep going, or shall I give up?'

Decisions are difficult at the best of times. But if your judgement is clouded either by trivial things such as being drunk, or more pressing issues such as 'What do I actually want to do with my life?' then they can become a serious obstacle that sometimes you don't think you can overcome.

I'm not sure what the answer to this problem is. I guess I have always tried to work out what will make me the happiest, or what will give me the most satisfaction, but then I often end up deciding on that which will make me happiest in the short term and decide to ignore the future.

Its a fucker of a problem. Because taking the easy way out has often been my philosophy, but from personal experience I can tell you that eventually you get to a point where you have to say enough is enough - I have to think about the future and hope its not too late.

I think what we all need is someone very wise that we can speak to. Someone that has done it all, made all the mistakes but has lived to tell the tale, and has also found their way eventually. And you know what? One day I’d like to be that person. But time will tell as it always does.

Lates.

CD Comp Part One

2007-12-24T14:04:00.001Z

So I've got myself another Christmas CD.

I know you don't care, but here is the first half.

1. Half The World Away - Oasis.
I have loved this song for quite a few years and I may well have shoved it on one of my other Christmas CDs but Freck it I don't care.

2. Go To Hell - David Ford.
This is off Mr Ford's new album and it rocks my serious socks off. Full of passion and life. I love it.

3. Elvis Ain't Dead - Scouting For Girls.
This song is one I love and it reminds me of a place I've been to. 'I wish It Was Me'

4. Think About It, Think Think About It.
What can I say about the Fight Of The Conchords? They rock in all the right places. Long live them!

5. I Wasn't Built To Get Up - The Supernaturals.
There is not much I need to say about this tune. It may as well have been written about me.

6. Forever Young - Youth Group.
This Song was recommended to me by Mr Chalkey-McChalk. Its a great song about getting older and not wanting to, about wanting to live forever, and this is something I can relate to.

7. Let Me Out - Ben's Brother.
Not entirely sure how or why I found Ben's Brother, but he/they are very cool. This song is my favourite off of their album.

8. Everything I've Got - Iain Archer.
Saw this fella at Greenbelt this year and he was very cool. This is a great song, very mellow, very cool.

9. Nowhere Man - The Beatles.
I have loved this song for as long as I can remember. It is classic Beatles and it makes me smile.

END

Mortality.

2007-11-26T23:08:00.000Z

Well it has been a strange weekend.

I went to Manchester on Friday and had a good time there.

Then at about half seven on Sunday evening, I found out that a guy who I went to School with had died.

He didn't even do anything stupid like drink drive or overdose on whatever. He just died of, from what I understand, was natural causes. He was a really nice bloke and he will be hugely missed.

His death got me thinking, unsurprisingly, about my own mortality, and the fact that I am apparently no longer immortal. This is not a good thing as I have lived the last twenty plus years assuming that I was actually going to live forever.

Things like this tend to put your life into perspective. It makes you think, about how you interact with people, about those times when you've been regrettably harsh to someone, and about those times when you wanted to say something to someone, but didn't.
Now living your life as if anyone and everyone is about to die any minute is not a productive way to exist, but I think there is definitely something to be said for treating everyday people like you may never see them again.

I am nearly thirty years old. But I will get there and I will get slowly older everyday, but my friend wont. He will stay 29 for many years until the last person who knew him leaves this world. There are a lot of people missing him right now.

Lates.